Magnificent Niagara

 I have been to Niagara umpteen number of times and I'm still fascinated with the majestic natural wonder.

This time I went there with both my kids for the first time. Thanks to the weather, there was no maid of mist ride that was helpful in giving us a totally new experience. 

I have had folks going through emotional experiences while doing the boat ride so close to the falls.. however, this time it was a pleasure to watch the falls through my kid's eyes!! 

First they heard the roar of Niagara and then mist does not hide but clearly shows how magnificent the falls are! And the lights in the night make it just more magical if that's even possible ❤️ 

If there was something I could wsh for? It would be .. health

The first signs of 40 begin with? Not being as quick as before or not being as active as before? But it actually hits you when you can't keep up with your own kids... 

In fact I think my second born missed out on a lot of activities that I did with my first born? Like cycling, hiking, skiing, swimming... am just a more tired parent with my 7 years old daughter! And honestly I am not one of the picture taking moms (nothing against them!) But I am just one of these.moms that jumps into the pool instead if taking pics of babies in them

As 40s painfully reminds you that you are not young enough to lose weight so quickly, the same exercises just don't work anymore! 

So if there's anything I would like to wish for? It would be a lot more strength and vitality as my kids go through teenage! 

Past 40 doesn't really feel like the new 20? At least not physically.. I keep breaking promises of taking my kids out biking or swimming.  Not just because I am busy but I just can't seem to find the energy

This is for all my friends older and younger - if there's a really a gift we can give ourselves?  It would be the gift of health ... it almost falls in the category of things money can't buy and is closely related to happiness and contentment that comes with it!! A healthy body really is the biggest wealth one can have ❤️ 

To move or not to move

 To move or not to move? Was that Hamlet who pondered, "To be or not to be".. not claiming to understand what the Bard meant... but this question has been plaguing me for the last one week

So I am on a month long family vacation in the US, and within a few days of landing I have begun to wonder? Why not move back? Not sure if it's the clean air/ water, wide roads/ cool cars? Or just a relaxed life style with a lot more ME time!

I have always wanted the hustle and bustle of India, the chaos kept me happy? Even peaceful so what has changed now that I want to give it all up to move to US

Of course I love the big house with the garden? I sorely missed my backyard when I moved to India.. but I think there's something more. It's the quality time I got to spend with the kids with no late night calls.. am liking the peace and quiet, the morning and evening walks? Breathing the pristine air? Enjoying the driving experience without honks and traffic..

Hmm maybe it is just the vacation and my bubble would soon burst once I get back to work and school, and the dreary schedule

Playing the devil's advocate - I was the same person who couldn't wait to move back to India? Stay close to family and make sure the kids growing up involves their grand parents and extended family. Am I really ready to give all of that up? And move back to America for good?

Sunny San Deigo and the Cooold nights/ early morning and snowing Denver!!!

Great to back in the states and it feels like we hardly left... even though are back on the US after 8 years almost...

Below was a lovely snail walking at a leisurely pace while we took our morning walk in the cold

With my partner in crime during the long morning walks

And with my cheer leaders during a less cold walking the very first day after landing 

The 8 year gap seems to have melted away like the morning sun! And the kids, of course are super comfortable in their homeland 😆 

 

Stopping or at least Pausing "the To-Do list"

Anyone who knows me, would know that I love to make "To-Do lists". This is the first thing I do before I start my day and sometimes I start off the list in my head while driving before writing it down visually!

When COVID happened, with WFH concept - I started including personal items in my list and it would look something like this...

• Make bfast and feed kids
• Attend stand up
• Eat bfast
• Back to work
• Workout before lunch
• lunch

... you get the idea!

Anyway as I got more items to do, my list got more sophisticated with prioritization (important vs urgent), and timings, etc. So there was one incident that kinda shook me to the core, and got my lists to a full STOP.

As usual I was juggling a lot of activities, and had planned my meetings around dropping my kids for their summer classes and driving in Bangalore traffic. One such day, I was dropping my son at his Chess class and rushing back home as there was a 1x1 meeting I could not be late to! As I was planning in my head, I did not do my usual chit-chat with my son and instead was wondering how to get back home on time..

I dropped my son on the opposite side of the road, and wanted to just rush back.. I was expecting my son to cross the road carefully based on all theoretical lessons of 'Look left and right'? My son just took a mad dash without any looking around, and I could see my urgency was getting into him too! Was shocked to see the impact and that day I let go of my high urgency To-Do list..

Things could wait, my life can slow down... nothing is as important as the safety of my kids, and my peace of mind

Roasted for a DL

Am sure everyone has an unique experience at the RTO/ DMV office, I have had different ones across continents!

Let us start at the very beginning (as Julie Andrew says in Doe a deer!), my first experience to obtain a DL was at my native Madurai. I did not bother to go to a driving school, as starting from a cycle to geared scooter to a car.. my brother only taught me.. though I got a car DL before even sitting in the driving seat of a car :) 

Anyway coming back to the Madurai venue, I had applied for my license when I was 16-17 and unfortunately my brother was in BITS so he did not accompany me... I say this because I performed very badly on my "8", and I say performance as I had a crowd of around 100. I was very comfortable riding my Scooty at this point, and even used to take it to school. But I must have gotten something like stage fright as I kept my leg down to a very reactive crowd which was awwing and booing based on my performance! And finally I passed, I was too pleased until my brother came back from Pilani and said they had given me the car license along with the bike to ensure I don't go back there.. I was elated!!

Fast forward to Texas, almost a decade later when I was prepping for the online written exam/ quiz. It was hard and I was getting old so remembering the random road signs was not easy. I worked hard and passed on my second attempt, but the actual driving test was a breeze! Our test inspector was a red neck who was super impressed with a little girl driving stick shift as manual geared cars are called in the US.. anyway, even though I did not still understand the right and left changes needed to drive in the US

Then I moved to 2 different states in the US, and had to go through the same motions for PA and LA states. I don't remember anything from these experiences as I am sure they were uneventful and involved only more written tests which I studied like my life depended on it.

Now finally coming to my DL experience 2 days back in Bangalore! So I had let my DL expire and lost my original DL which forced me to take the LLR and DL all over again.. this should not have been such a hard job... only that rules have changed quite now - apparently there is no need for "8"s but I failed my bike test :( 

First mistake was taking my husband's bulky Bajaj avenger for getting a geared bike license, and to be honest I did not get much time to practice. I was confident that I could drive in 1st and 2nd gear, but what I did not know was Avenger refused to turn and do the zig-zag that was required. 

Second mistake was taking my Duster while this inspector or driving school instructor (still dunno who this guy was!) kept screaming instructions at Kannada. Honestly, I don't even know right and left in Tamil and here I was being told which direction to steer in Kannada. After a point, I was ready to scream at him as I could not take any more yelling. I got down from the car and said I didn't need a license at all... all I could do was shout at my husband :)

Anyway Gods smiled and I got a pass for the car DL, but there was quite some sun that day in Bangalore so we were all (yeah we had gone along with my kids!) got roasted to the get my DL at the RTO.

How has been all your experiences? Please share

Shh.. let us talk about it

 

Yday someone has left this comment on my post, still beats me why as unknown but here it is - Unknown commented on "Belated ode to men for women's day"

21 hours ago

First time someone has come out in the open to discuss. Kudos to you

And this got me thinking, I do not think women have not appreciated men in the open! Anyway that's a discussion for another day, this got me thinking about other taboo topics that folks don't talk about.

Let us start with the very obvious one! After all the ME movement, guess I owe to make this priority

My very first incident was when I was 7 or 6? I was a precocious girl and used to talk non-stop. My father ran a surgical business and used to employ young lads. Another important context setting, my father's youngest brother used to live with us and I really used to love my chithapa as we call it. Coming to the actual scene, one of the helpers in my dad's office touched me inappropriately and in all childish innocence, I called out to my uncle and said this guy in touching me! And being a kid, I didn't truly grasp the significance and all I knew was I didn't like it... and if I am being honest, there was no skin crawling at this age just anger! Actual disgust came in later ages...

My uncle literally dragged the guy out of the office, and said he should never enter the office again or come close to me. This actually made me wonder why my calm uncle suddenly got so angry... looking back, I was bold enough to call out such an action but age was on my side and I was too young to feel the shame!

Next incident I can recollect was during a trip to a temple in Kerala (Yes, a temple! Guess that's where my unique fondness of temples come from :)  .. Again I don't remember much apart from I was 10 and someone touched me from behind. I was repulsed and turned out to see that guy smiling at me! And this time I was not angry but ashamed, only that God in the temple knows why!!! And I was taken aback that the perpetrator has the cheek to smile while I being a victim was feeling disgusted at myself? For what? I also remember I never wore that beautiful frock again..

Various incidents later, usually at work where a senior or even a manager just talks to you inappropriately made me think that maybe if I got married all this would stop! And this is coming from someone so strong like me, and somewhere in the subconscious we are made to feel responsible for the atrocities committed by another?

I usually do NOT write of such serious topics, and I always think of my life as sunny and cheerful. This goes to say, there are some dark chapters which one doesn't like to think about for no fault of theirs...

Would end with a note of requesting everyone to be like my uncle who without question and without hesitation kicked a person out of the house based on the faith and love for a little girl...❤